she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
