He disabled his match.com account in front of me
only if we run a train.
done.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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