I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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