Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
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