garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
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