mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
