Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Randomize
