Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
