I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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