pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
