i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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