i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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