so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize
