Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
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