He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
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