So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Randomize
