Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
