Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
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