Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
