Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
no more duck duck goose at the bar
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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