I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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