...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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