I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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