Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
