There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Randomize
