why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Randomize
