So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
