Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
The adults are the big ones right?
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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