Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
