Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Randomize
