This house was built for laser tag.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize
