Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
