I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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