it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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