I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
