Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
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