You made me cry and you don't even care
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
