If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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