Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
