i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
