Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
