Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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