I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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