Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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