the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
The beer is more important than you right now.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
