i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
