i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
