i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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