im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
