Soap is not a condiment
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
