Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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