Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize
