i used baking grease as lip gloss
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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