I'm pants shitting drunk right now
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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