i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
