wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I lost the right to judge tonight
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
