We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I supernannyed him into submission
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
