Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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