I'm gonna have a badass scar
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
