Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Randomize
