Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
