It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
