nut hugger
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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