Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Randomize
