no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
