Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Operation Purity has been aborted
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
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