wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Randomize
